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If it’s Sunday and beautiful out and I’m stuck inside because I have a big project coming up this week and know I should get some work done before that happens so I can run on my merry way to the gym, and various lunch and coffee whatsises, then the least I can do is share some unfortunately-named products and companies with you.

First, there is ARSE. I took this photo in Parque de Los Reyes at a skateboard competition. Who wouldn’t want to hire a company called ARSE? They rent security gates and such.


Here below we have a can of coffee photographed at my mother’s house. The word pico means, as you might guess, the peak of a mountain. But in Chile we use it to refer to something men have somewhere roughly south of the equator. How funny! man-part coffee! I know it’s juvenile, but my sense of humor has become positively puerile since moving to Chile. I blame the Chileans. And am glad the illustration on the coffee depicts the former, not the later. Hey Long Islanders (and wherever else they sell this product), enjoy your coffee!

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And then we have my favorite, photographed in a supermarket in Seattle, where people do not tsk tsk at you for photographing things unlike in Chile (Santiago supermarket talk here, transparency alert, it’s a link to NG, one of my gigs, and yes, I become fabulously rich and famous if you click). And what can I say about this? In Spanish, a masculine word becomes feminine by putting an -a at the end. And puta is the rude word for a woman who works mainly on street corners and the like. So if you put an o at the end, you theorectically make the word masculine, and get a man who works mainly on street corners and the like, also sometimes called a “taxiboy,” especially here in Santiago, and apparently after the Gus Von Sant Movie “My Own Private Idaho” but though I saw that movie, I don’t remember that part.

And so I give you, “puto.” Classic. Steamed, even.


And I’m kicking myself for not having a picture of the “barfy” brand hamburger patties I saw once, and many other products. What else you got? Travelers, I know you’re out there laughing yourselves silly at what you’ve found.

And you can be as big of a jerk as you want, because I’m prepared. I’ve got my antimofo sitting right here beside me (photo taken in Sao Paulo at a Home Depot-type store). It’s actually a dehumidifier in a can, an anti-mold product if you will. But I like my interpretation better.

anti mofo