If it’s Sunday and beautiful out and I’m stuck inside because I have a big project coming up this week and know I should get some work done before that happens so I can run on my merry way to the gym, and various lunch and coffee whatsises, then the least I can do is share some unfortunately-named products and companies with you.
First, there is ARSE. I took this photo in Parque de Los Reyes at a skateboard competition. Who wouldn’t want to hire a company called ARSE? They rent security gates and such.
Here below we have a can of coffee photographed at my mother’s house. The word pico means, as you might guess, the peak of a mountain. But in Chile we use it to refer to something men have somewhere roughly south of the equator. How funny! man-part coffee! I know it’s juvenile, but my sense of humor has become positively puerile since moving to Chile. I blame the Chileans. And am glad the illustration on the coffee depicts the former, not the later. Hey Long Islanders (and wherever else they sell this product), enjoy your coffee!
And then we have my favorite, photographed in a supermarket in Seattle, where people do not tsk tsk at you for photographing things unlike in Chile (Santiago supermarket talk here, transparency alert, it’s a link to NG, one of my gigs, and yes, I become fabulously rich and famous if you click). And what can I say about this? In Spanish, a masculine word becomes feminine by putting an -a at the end. And puta is the rude word for a woman who works mainly on street corners and the like. So if you put an o at the end, you theorectically make the word masculine, and get a man who works mainly on street corners and the like, also sometimes called a “taxiboy,” especially here in Santiago, and apparently after the Gus Von Sant Movie “My Own Private Idaho” but though I saw that movie, I don’t remember that part.
And so I give you, “puto.” Classic. Steamed, even.
And I’m kicking myself for not having a picture of the “barfy” brand hamburger patties I saw once, and many other products. What else you got? Travelers, I know you’re out there laughing yourselves silly at what you’ve found.
And you can be as big of a jerk as you want, because I’m prepared. I’ve got my antimofo sitting right here beside me (photo taken in Sao Paulo at a Home Depot-type store). It’s actually a dehumidifier in a can, an anti-mold product if you will. But I like my interpretation better.